Dedication to Our Unborn

I was debating whether or not to post something tomorrow since it would have been the due date of our little one. My reserved nature kept telling me not to, so I decided I would. :) I don't want people to think we are private about what happened to us. We do talk about it openly to those who ask and we really just strive to be vulnerable. Since tomorrow will be a really busy day for me, I want to post today. Many of you may not know, but I used to write a lot of poetry. I have poems upon poems hidden in notebooks and journals. It is a great way for me to relieve stress, anxiety, anger, frustration, happiness, joy, and whatever else I may feel at the time. This poem reflects several feelings.. grief, confusion, disappointment, discontentedness, sadness. But it also reflects joy, thankfulness, hope, understanding. It is part of my healing process and I want to share it with anyone who wants to read it. Thank you for all of your support!

I cannot help but think
Of all the things that would have been-

How my stomach would be so round now,
How I would feel you move and kick,
How today I might have finally held you close to me.

I would have breathed in your sweet baby scent,
I would have showed you proudly to all around,
I would have been in awe of your little fingers and toes.

But these things were never meant to be-
God’s plan is sovereignly so.
Yet I will always carry a small ache
Within this mother’s heart.

To wish that you were still here
Is not something I regret,
For I don’t know what else to feel
As I ponder on what could have been.

I am thankful for the short time
You were in our life.
It’s amazing how much God used you
To change me from the inside.

So on this special day,
I give thanks to the Lord.
Only He knows the answers to my questions
And that gives me endless comfort.